What did you do in 2018 that you'd never done before?
I was a mom and also worked full time. I fed my baby with my
body for 5 months. I cradled her to sleep each night. I wiped away her tears
after each stumble, nightmare, and vaccination. I laughed when she was happy,
cried when she was sad, and missed her desperately when we were apart. I taught
her how to clap her hands, point to objects, and say simple phrases. During the
hard days, I longed for my life before her, but then she hugs my face and calls
me Mama, and I cannot imagine my life without her. Before 2018, I had never
doubted myself more or disagreed with Chris so much; however, through these
growing pains our relationship has never been stronger, and I’m gradually
(re)building self-confidence again.
Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make
more for 2019?
My resolution last year was to take it easy and give myself
grace when it comes to losing the baby weight and getting back to my old self
again. It was definitely a struggle. I did begin to go back to the gym although
not as consistently as before. Perhaps I won’t make any resolutions for 2019;
instead, I will remind myself daily to take care of my health, whether that is
physical, emotional, or spiritual.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Jamie had Rosie, Joanna had Isabella, and my cousin had
Elli!
Did anyone close to you die?
My grandpa
What countries did you visit?
Not much traveling this year
What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?
My old self-esteem back. Actually, reading through my
answers from last year as well as the years before, I noticed that I have
always been incredibly preoccupied with my weight and body image. I’m really
so, so tired of that – so tired of being happy only if I look fit, and feeling
tremendous guilt for not working out, because that meant I’m getting fat. I
don’t know how to stop, but I want to move forward in life without this burden.
I especially don’t want to pass this affliction on to Jubilee.
What date(s) from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory,
and why?
The year is filled to the brim with countless memories of my
baby and her firsts. It’s hard to pinpoint any one date that I’ll remember
forever. What remains etched in my memory is how I felt when she took her first
bite of solid food, and took her first steps without any help, and the way she
looked when she first recognized my face when I came home from work one day.
I’ll remember how she loves the Itsy Bitsy Spider, the part where the rain came
down and washed the spider out. I’ll remember the way she blows air out of her
nose to make me laugh, and points to the buttons on my headboard when she
sleeps in bed with me. I’ll remember how she tightly cradles her stuffed
animals and pats them on the back the way we do to her. I’ll forever remember
her first birthday – her dresses, her cake, her Precious Moments present – and
cherish these moments in my heart until I die.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Being a full-time working mom
What was your biggest failure?
The times I accidentally physically hurt Jubilee, because I
wasn’t watching as carefully as I should
Did you suffer illness or injury?
A blow to my ego each time someone reminded me that I’ve
gained weight
What was the best thing you bought?
My Bose headphones
Whose behavior merited celebration?
My mom and dad acted as a second set of parents for Jubilee.
There is nothing they won’t do for my daughter, and Chris and I cannot
appreciate them enough.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
A close friend stopped talking to me. I was truly hurt and
do still feel upset if I’m being honest, but I guess we all have to decide
who’s worth keeping in our lives.
Where did most of your money go?
Formula, diapers, formula, diapers, formula, diapers…
What did you get really, really excited about?
Amanda and Jason’s wedding, visiting the Wizarding World of
Harry Potter in Hollywood, being able to wear my pre-baby jeans again, the
beautiful fountain pen that Chris gave me for Christmas, Bejer’s news
What did you get really, really sad about?
Going back to work after maternity leave and Bejer’s news
What song(s) will always remind you of 2018?
I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing by Aerosmith
Compared to this time last year, are you:
Wiser? Yes
Healthier? No
Richer? Yes
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Be patient when my baby was having a meltdown
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Feel guilty for not working out
How did you spend Christmas?
We spent Christmas with my parents in Newark. Tien and James
came over, since they were working through the week and couldn’t fly home to
Phoenix. Jubilee had so much fun tearing open presents and putting all the
wrapping paper in her mouth.
What new hobbies did you pick up?
Changing dirty diapers
What was your favorite TV program?
AKA what I’ve binged on Netflix: The Great British Baking
Show, Call The Midwife, Disenchantment, The Bare Bears, Law and Order: SVU,
Nailed It, Queer Eye, Archer, and Friends
What did you do for your wedding anniversary?
Chris and I celebrated our 3-year anniversary. He sent a
big, beautiful bouquet of flowers to my office! He wrote the sweetest card. He
took me to dinner at Morten’s for seafood, steak, and soufflé. He was so
romantic, and it made me emotional. I didn’t prepare anything for him, but he
certainly knew how to wine and dine his wife who’s been feeling burnt out.
What was the best book(s) you read?
To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, P.S. I Still Love You,
and Always and Forever, Lara Jean
What was your greatest musical discovery?
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
What did you want and get?
A Kaweco fountain pen and an Instant Pot
What did you want and not get?
A wax seal kit and a Dyson vacuum
What was your favorite film(s) of this year?
I didn’t watch too many 2018 movies… maybe Ocean’s 8?
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 33 about a month after giving birth, so I was
feeling really tired and ugly. Chris took me to a nice sushi place, because I
had craved yellowtail sashimi throughout my pregnancy. Afterward, we got
dessert at McDonalds! It was very sweet and low-key. I felt very loved and
appreciated the night off.
What’s one thing that would have made your year immeasurably
more satisfying?
If my mother-in-law were more understanding
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?
Lots of loose-fitting tops with the same pair of jeans. It
was a year of “as long as it fits and covers my rolls.”
What kept you sane?
My parents being one phone call away to take Jubilee if we
needed a break
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Chrissy Teigen
What political issue stirred you the most?
Gun control
Who did you miss?
Me time
Who was the best new person you met?
Jubilee’s doctor
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018.
Never wake a sleeping baby
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping, while you’re far
away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure
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