What did you do last year that you had never done before?
Even though the pandemic is still on-going, 2021 was overall an amazing year. Henry was born! He arrived almost 4 weeks early on February 2. I had a C-section. It was the first time I had surgery, and I was pretty scared about it. I remember being wheeled into the operating room, and the nurses laying me down on the operating table while I stared at the bright, white lights above. I was shaking with nerves. Thankfully, it was a quick and smooth procedure. Henry came out as a whopping 7 pounds 2 ounces preemie, and Chris stayed with me at the hospital the entire time. Because of COVID, he was not allowed to come back if he left the building, so my parents watched Jubilee for 3 days and 2 nights. I’ve never missed her more. I cried every night missing her terribly. Just reflecting on it now is making me emotional. Anyway, I have tremendously enjoyed being mom to a little boy, and it’s been a lot of fun watching him grow and learn this last year. All of his firsts feel like firsts for me, which is a magical and wonderful privilege to experience. My heart is so full.
Also a giant milestone - Chris and I bought a house! We sold our condo in Fremont and bought a big house in Union City over the summer. Pulling into the garage, playing my piano in the living room, watching the kids run around the family room, walking into my closet to put clothes away, organizing the kitchen pantry… these are just some of the simple but enormous joys I get on a daily basis. I could not have asked for a better home for our growing family, and I’m beyond thankful. Relatedly, another first for me and Chris is opening a merged account. Our mortgage has more than doubled, so we needed to combine our finances to afford the house. Hopefully in the next year or two, we’ll have recovered a little from the financial hit, since we both pretty much cleared our savings to purchase our forever home.
Another first is Jubilee started going to school! Well, it’s technically day care, but she calls it school, so it’s school. She enjoys it very much! It’s a huge plus for us and for my parents as well, since she’s out of the house (and out of our hair) and, more importantly, doing something productive for the day. The walls in my kitchen are slowly being covered with arts and crafts that Jubilee brings home. I’m sad to say that I’ve already had to throw some away, but I’m going to save the special ones. She’s also started going to dance class every week and had her very first ballet recital over the holidays! It was the cutest performance ever of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. As I watched her on stage, I felt so much pride that I started crying. Jubilee also had her first Christmas program at school, where all the classes sang Christmas songs for the parents. It was a tiny bit embarrassing but not surprising to note that Jubilee was THAT kid, the one whose attention span is shorter than the actual song, and she started goofing off and distracting the other kids as well as the audience, who laughed along every time Jubilee tried to catch the floating dust made visible with the spotlight, or when Jubilee danced to her own moves instead of the class choreography. I wished she were better behaved, but in a small way, I was also proud. She is certainly and unapologetically her own person.
What else had I not done before? Over the summer, we flew to Texas for my cousin Josh’s wedding, and also drove down to Orange County for my cousin Brian’s wedding. It was our first time traveling as a family of four, and it wasn’t too bad. Henry’s an easy baby, and Jubilee’s been able to maneuver Youtube on her own.
Did you keep your resolutions and will you make more for this year?
Last year, I wrote that I would love a bigger house and (so I can) print more photos to display. Of course, I’m excited to say that we did indeed buy a bigger home. So far, the only newly printed photos are of Jubilee’s first school pictures. We do have Henry’s first birthday photo session scheduled for the end of January though! For 2022, I would like to take better care of my body, but also, given the state of the world, I want to give myself extra grace for not eating right all the time or exercising diligently. What’s more important than fitting into my pre-baby clothes is how I feel both physically and emotionally. I want to show my kids that appearance isn’t everything, and I want them to see me and Chris exercising, because it’s fun and helps us become stronger, more capable people who take care of ourselves.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
I mean, aside from myself?? Haha yes, Rebekah had Lily! She and Henry are less than 2 months apart.
Did anyone close to you die?
No, and maybe I should change up this question next year.
Where did you travel?
Not much travel going on because of the pandemic, but there was a brief month or two over the summer where it seemed like COVID was easing up. At that time, we flew to Dallas in June for my cousin’s wedding, and we drove to LA in August for my cousin’s wedding (in which Jubilee was a flower girl!). Unfortunately, COVID did not actually ease up; instead, it tightened its hold on the world and unleashed more variants.
What would you like to have this year that you lacked last year?
I’m glad that we did get to see people and hang out in person a little more in 2021 versus the year before, but for 2022 (and I’m not sure if this is even a feasible wish) it would be wonderful to have things return to the way it was before the pandemic. Ha, the whole world wants that. I don’t want to live in fear anymore. To answer practically though, I’d like to have my both my kids vaccinated against COVID. There is a possible vaccine for kids ages 2+ next month, which is great news for Jubilee but still leaves Henry out. Until they’re both vaccinated, I’m constantly afraid that they’ll get horribly sick, and worse, that they’ll catch it from me or Chris.
What dates will remain etched in your memory?
I will forever remember the events of February 2 when Henry came into the world. From me not being sure if my water broke, to being annoyed that he’s coming early on the second day of my maternity leave (rude), to the apprehension surrounding the surgery, to the pain of taking the first steps after surgery… It was a whirlwind, but it was a lovely whirlwind.
I don’t remember the exact dates, but I will always remember how I packed up the condo in a week while I was still recovering from my C-section. Living with my parents for a few months was both a dream and nightmare - it was great that we had help with the baby 24/7, but I also had a couple of pretty huge fights with my parents, and those were traumatizing. I never fight with them. I’ll also remember how it felt to explore open houses and experience the surreal “omg this is it” when we walked into our now home.
In 2021, Chris turned 40! I invited some of our friends to come celebrate and also warm our new house. It was wonderful to be able to host!
What was your biggest achievement?
Birthing Henry, recovering from surgery, working full time and being a full-time mom, staying sane and healthy amid this pandemic, and receiving a rather significant promotion at Lockheed
What was your biggest failure?
I lost it big time with Jubilee one morning when she was particularly bad. I literally couldn’t control myself and almost broke my hand in the process of throwing the biggest tantrum of my life. Later when I apologized to her, Jubilee told me she loved me, and I lost it again. The second time in a good way.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had a C-section
What was the best thing you bought?
Our house
Whose behavior merited celebration?
Not to toot my own horn, but honestly, I would say me. Between having a baby, buying a house, working full time and raising two kids, and doing all this during a global pandemic, I would like to pat myself on the back. Of course, I couldn’t have done it all without the help of Chris, my amazing parents, and close friends, whose behaviors definitely merited a ton of celebration as well!
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
If I thought about who elicited the most negative emotions in me this last year, it’d probably be Jubilee. To be fair, she also elicited the most positive emotions in me, and she does that more often than the negative, but I’ve cried over her in 2021 more than over anyone else.
Where did most of your money go?
The house!
What did you get really excited about?
Seeing both sides of my extended families at the weddings, Jubilee’s holiday dance recital and school performance, moving the piano into the new house, completion of the guest bathroom, watching Henry’s many milestones in this first year of being his mom
What did you get really sad about?
When Henry fell down in the first month of walking, and he cut his lip on his teeth. This happened more than a few times.
What songs will always remind you of last year?
I really enjoyed Leave Before You Love Me by the Jonas Brothers and Marshmello
Compared to this time last year, are you wiser? Healthier? Richer?
Yes, yes, depends on how you view it, but I’ll say yes!
What did you wish you had done more of?
Exercise, practice Spanish, sleep, take the kids to the park
What did you wish you had done less of?
Worry, berate myself
How did you spend Christmas?
We spent Christmas Eve at my parents’ house. Chris’s parents came up for it. My dad made a feast, and we watched Jubilee and Henry tear open the presents afterward. On Christmas Day, we did it all over again at our house. My mother-in-law made dinner, and my parents came over for it. And we watched Jubilee and Henry tear open the presents afterward. It was such a challenge to keep Henry away from the ornaments.
What new hobbies did you pick up?
I don’t know that I did. Hm, I did start to make Henry’s baby food, something I’ve never done before, because with Jubilee, we went with store-bought.
What were your favorite TV programs?
Brooklyn 99, Peaky Blinders, Ink Master, Shadow and Bone, Centaurworld, The Chair, Squid Game, and Downton Abbey
What did you do for your anniversary?
Chris and I celebrated Year 6 at Sundance The Steakhouse in Palo Alto. It was a much needed, romantic, and delicious date night.
What were the best books you read?
Pachinko, The House in the Cerulean Sea, The Vanishing Half, Shadow and Bone, Siege and Storm, Ruin and Rising, The Rose Code, The Song of Achilles, People We Meet on Vacation, Klara and the Sun, A Court of Thorns and Roses
What was your greatest musical discovery?
I don’t know about musical, but I started listening to scary podcasts in the car. Also, my Spotify is full of piano & rain sounds for the kids to listen to when they sleep.
What did you want and get?
A Hatch (very fancy noise maker for babies)
What did you want and not get?
There are still several items around the house that I’d like to purchase, but they’re not big items, nor are they critical. I know that furnishing a home is an extended process, and I’m happy to take my time to bargain shop.
What were your favorite films?
A Monster Calls and Lucca
What did you do for your birthday?
I was discharged from the hospital that afternoon. We came home with Henry and introduced him to Jubilee, which made for the cutest photos. I had very simple home-cooked Chinese food that my mom made, and some Black Forest chocolate cake for dessert. I turned 36.
How did you celebrate Jubilee’s birthday?
Jubilee turned 4 at home with family - my parents, brother, Rebekah, and Lily joined, too. I decorated our new dining room with wall art, balloons, birthday hats, noise makers, and presents, one of which was a large doll house from Marina and Ben. When she came home from school that day, I recorded her reaction as she screamed with joy and jumped up and down. It makes me smile watching it over and over again. Some other presents she received and loved are a personalized book to read at bedtime, a pink backpack with a picture of mermaids on it, a pink princess castle tent, and a mermaid tail blanket. I made a big ham dinner with mac and cheese, salad, roasted veggies, and toasted King’s Hawaiian rolls.
What’s one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I really can’t think of anything. This life is more satisfying than I could have dreamed. I feel extra lucky.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept?
Covid Casual - Sweatpants, tees, and a robe. AND a 2021 addition: a coat of drool over everything
What kept you sane?
Help with childcare from my parents, Chris taking the kids out on Saturday mornings so that I could sleep in, video calls with wonderful friends
Which celebrity or public figure did you fancy the most?
Still very much Adam Driver and Henry Cavill, but I had a mini crush on Cillian Murphy, Robert Pattinson, and Dave Navarro
What political issue stirred you the most?
Women’s reproductive rights
Who did you miss?
I missed Roxanne, and I’m so glad we got to reconnect before the year’s end.
Who was the best new person you met?
My son
What is a valuable life lesson you learned?
When Henry was born, my mom told me, “You may raise your first child with textbooks, but you definitely raise your second with experience.” I learned to take it easy, trust that I know what I’m doing, and that I’m doing a good job.
What is a song lyric that sums up your year?
Come stop your crying, it will be alright
Just take my hand, hold it tight
I will protect you from all around you
I will be here, don't you cry
For one so small you seem so strong
My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm
This bond between us can't be broken
I will be here, don't you cry
'Cause you'll be in my heart, yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on now and forever more
You'll be in my heart no matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart always, always
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