i got my first rejection letter in the mail. i should have known it was going to be bad news, because it came in a small envelope. it also brought back memories of college admissions, and how much i wanted to live in southern california. it's funny though, i cannot imagine myself there anymore, while life in the bay area turned out to be the best thing that ever happened. i wonder if history might repeat itself. if my own plans had not gone awry, i wouldn't have become who i am today, or have met those whom i love so dearly now. that "dear ms. wang, unfortunately" letter had changed my entire life, and i'm so thankful that i received it. yet now i'm faced with the same situation, and although i know i may be at the cusp of another great adventure, i'm really scared to accept it.
three things that scare me the most are 1) the unknown, 2) failure, and 3) spiders. this right here- waiting for admissions- includes both fear one and two. i'm just glad that a giant, hairy spider won't be delivering the message. i know that God has the best school for me, and that his timing makes all things more beautiful than i can imagine. i do trust that wherever i go, he'll continue to provide everything i need. i mean, after all, he hasn't failed me yet :)
while tucson remains ever so boring, i really like being home. i'm glad my parents decided not to sell the house, because i enjoy living in it. i take bubble baths in the master bedroom, cook myself mini feasts in the kitchen, sleep in different rooms whenever i feel like it, vacuum, swiffer, and windex every surface of the house to keep things fresh, and care for the dog as if he were my own child. haha sometimes i will suddenly say "Mama!" really loudly, and it's so cute (and also very sad) to see cody jump up and run to the garage door, waiting with perked ears for my mom to come in. i always feel kind of bad when i do that to him, but i still do it. probably because i'm messed up. also, whenever my parents call, i'll switch the phone to speaker next to him, and he'd be super excited to hear their voices. i wish he could talk. oh, the things he would say.
three things that scare me the most are 1) the unknown, 2) failure, and 3) spiders. this right here- waiting for admissions- includes both fear one and two. i'm just glad that a giant, hairy spider won't be delivering the message. i know that God has the best school for me, and that his timing makes all things more beautiful than i can imagine. i do trust that wherever i go, he'll continue to provide everything i need. i mean, after all, he hasn't failed me yet :)
while tucson remains ever so boring, i really like being home. i'm glad my parents decided not to sell the house, because i enjoy living in it. i take bubble baths in the master bedroom, cook myself mini feasts in the kitchen, sleep in different rooms whenever i feel like it, vacuum, swiffer, and windex every surface of the house to keep things fresh, and care for the dog as if he were my own child. haha sometimes i will suddenly say "Mama!" really loudly, and it's so cute (and also very sad) to see cody jump up and run to the garage door, waiting with perked ears for my mom to come in. i always feel kind of bad when i do that to him, but i still do it. probably because i'm messed up. also, whenever my parents call, i'll switch the phone to speaker next to him, and he'd be super excited to hear their voices. i wish he could talk. oh, the things he would say.
Comments
i'm glad you're keeping such a positive outlook on things tiff! i believe that you're going to end up going to the best school for you too, so brush that letter off your shoulder! (or um.. off yo' shoula...?) :) stay positive, and keep me updated with everything!!
i missss you.