Kissed

i kissed a boy and i liked it :)

Have You Ever

Are you worried about anything?
final projects and papers coming up fast

Is there anything that's been on your mind lately?
making new friends is so much fun

How was your day?
super unproductive but really awesome

Do you know what it's like to have to move on without wanting to?
yes, such is life

When was the last time you got in an argument with someone?
i don't remember arguing with anyone recently

When was the last time someone grabbed your hand and held it?
too long ago

Is there anyone you wanna go back and try thing's out with for a second time?
nope

Is there anyone you don't wanna lose?
my close friends and family

Do you find trusting people easy?
yeah that tends to be my downfall

Do you make smart decisions?
apparently not

Is there someone who's usually on your mind?
kinda

Are you usually a funny or serious person?
i have a sense of humor but a serious face

Is there anyone you've worked things out with lately?
not that i can recall

Do you miss anything?
goodnight kisses

Has anything disappointing happened recently?
yeah i'm taking statistics. i'm disappointed every week

Are you looking forward to anything?
seeing my girls in arizona for christmas

How was your night last night?
i watched ninja assassin it was so freaking awesome

What color is the shirt you are wearing?
white

Has anyone lied to you today?
probably, but i trust too easily, remember?

Has anyone upset you in the last week?
i don't think so

Will you be up before 7A.M. tomorrow?
yeah right i haven't woken up before 7am since high school

Who was the first person you talked to today?
my roommate mark

Think back to May, what was your love life like?
completely and blindly in love

When was the last time you fell over or ran into something?
not sure how it happened, but last week i found a giant bruise on my hip

Do you curse in front of your parents?
no

How late did you stay up last night and why?
4am writing a paper on divorce

What's the connection between you and the last person you texted?
friend/classmate

Are you scared to fall in love?
nope i wanna fall in love again

Ever gotten a teddy bear/stuffed animal from a boyfriend/girlfriend?
yeah, Bair

What are you doing tomorrow?
lunch date, class, dinner plans, then party time in LES

Are you able to talk about your ex and not get upset?
i'm getting better

Heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
probably wasn't aware if it did happen

Has anyone walked out of your life in the past 2 weeks?
no

Does anyone call you babe or baby?
no

Tell me, what's on your mind?
flirting is fun...

Think back seven months ago, were you single?
no

Do you like hugs and kisses?
depends on who i'm hugging and kissing

When you say you don't care, do you mean it?
sometimes

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
yeah

Have you ever kissed an ex after you broke up?
no

How did you get through your last breakup?
with an unbelievably great roommate and wonderful, supportive friends

Do you want to start over with anyone?
kind of, but there's no point in going backwards

Describe how you feel right now in one word.
antsy

Anybody tell you they miss you lately?
yup all the time, my budides on the other side of the country

Did your last kiss take place on a bed?
no

Your best friend of the opposite sex is crushing on you, what do you do?
say sorry

Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
yes! smoking is a disgusting habit

Has someone ever made you a promise & broke it?
of course

Do you have any voicemails on your cellphone?
no i keep a clean inbox

When you wake up what's the first thing you do?
find my pillowcase

Do you play video games?
yeah

What's the last thing you bought at the store?
sour gummies

How many states have you lived in?
three

Are you a high school drop out?
no

Left handed or right handed?
right handed

Look out the window, what do you see?
i'm in the basement

What is to your left?
playstation controllers charger

What was the last thing that made you laugh?
watching tommy boy

Do you read the newspaper?
on google reader

Can you cook?
yes

How many pets do you have?
zero

Are you close with your parents?
yes

How many best friends do you have?
a handful

What are you doing tonight?
i'm watching stand up comedy but gonna crash in a bit

What time is it?
3:01am

Can you make a dollar in change right now?
probably with the change in my purse

Do you read gossip magazines?
on google reader

Do you like to sing or dance in the shower?
sing not dance, i don't wanna slip and fall

At McDonalds what do you usually order?
mcdouble and small fries

Are you a friendly person?
yup


If you could change one thing about your life right now, what would it be?
be in a doctoral program already

If you could go back in time, where would you go?
college for sure

Have you ever met a famous person?
yes, but not movie stars

Do you look like anyone famous?
you tell me

Have you ever done drugs?
not illicit drugs

Have you ever woke up and didn't know who the person was sleeping next to you?
yeah and then i remember it's a giant family reunion and i had to bunk with my baby cousin

Do you have a criminal record?
no

What really annoys you?
people who push and shove their way into the subway only to stand right at the door, blocking everyone behind them. MOVE, you stupid butthole!

What are you listening to?
dane cook going crazy about something

What's your favorite tv-show?
GLEE!

What's your favorite color?
blue

Do you listen to the radio?
only when i'm in mark's car

Do you play any insturments?
piano and clarinet

What's the date today?
wednesday, november 25, 2009

When was the last time you were in a swimming pool?
summer 2008

Where is the strangest place you've slept?
the mark twain boat in disneyland

How many colors have you dyed your hair?
never dyed my hair before

Do you howl on full moons?
omg who doesn't?

Good Night

just got home. what a fun night- a much needed release from all that statistics stress. beer pong and jungle juice... no longer a stranger to those terms. good night :)

Wiser

i've been told that i often hold on to the past a lot more than i should, and it's true. i do frequently reflect back and remember how great a memory was, perhaps even try to relive it by visualizing myself in that particular situation again, so that i could feel the emotions from long ago. i used to think it was harmless to dwell on sweet memories, but now i'm realizing how unhealthy my behavior really is. maybe for some people, it's not so bad, but as for me, i'm allowing myself to get all riled up from either sadness or anger- sadness that a particular thing is over and done, anger that it ended so poorly or abruptly. several examples come to mind, not just my recent break up, but whatever the case, i need to find ways of ending this habit. it holds me back, so that i can't look toward a brighter future. and when u can't do that, where's hope, or at least the perception of it?

so far, most of the people who've come into my life have changed me for the better. i like to think of myself as the eternal optimist, someone who tries to look for the good even when times are tough. with each experience, there should be a lesson, even if i decide to make the same mistakes repeatedly, but that's another story. specifically, i'm trying to make sense of my last relationship. now that we're over, i'm beginning to get to know him through others. for the first time, i can see clearly without those darn rose-tinted glasses, and currently i'm piecing together the undeniable facts that he is indeed a bad person. this entry isn't about bashing his reputation or venting my frustration. i am simply organizing my thoughts, so that i genuinely learn from my stupid ways. romance isn't perfect, falling out of love is easy and common, and people do lie.

i used to hear that term "liar" and think of little kids when they didn't want to get beat for getting caught. i've learned through this whole alex experience that there really are liars! haha i'm chuckling as i type this, because it sounds soo silly, like "DUH, where have you been??" but i gotta say, i honestly believed in the good in all people, and i still wonder, why does anyone do it?? it's one thing to deny something, but it's another to fabricate elaborate stories just for the hell of it. i don't understand. it hurts me deeply to find out that my relationship was based on a whole bunch of lies, but as i mentioned earlier about people coming into our lives, i want to thank him for showing me a side of myself that needs to mature. namely, i've got to be less trusting and consider more the dangers of being earnest, rather than the importance of it.

i'm not broken hearted, just disappointed. i'm not devastated or sad either. rather, i'm glad this happened as early as it did, because i can say Good Riddance! thank GOD for showing me people's true colors, so that i can get on with my awesomeness, instead of wasting pointless tears on certain people or events that don't add up to very much in the end. we'd all like to think that we get wiser with time and experience. considering this as one of many changing points in my own life, i will make sure that i DO make wiser decisions next time, or at least make decision with more discernment in the future.


i have a Maker, He formed my heart
before even time began, my life was in His hands
i have a Father, He calls me His own
He'll never leave me no matter where I go
He knows my name, He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call